ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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