we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize