Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
