guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
