what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize