I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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