he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
