So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize