ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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