At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
So squirting runs in the family.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize