you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize