we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
