Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
