while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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