would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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