he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
