and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
