my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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