after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
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Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
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i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He has the fingertips of a God
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