After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
