so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
