I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
