Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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