in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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