They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
