i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
