So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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