Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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