Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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