So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My feet surprised me
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