using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
