it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
