I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
