what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
