It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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