i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
