just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
