In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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