dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She even gives head with a lisp.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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