i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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