He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
