my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize