Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I think i peed on brittanys purse
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
