Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
There's even glitter on my cock...
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