I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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