she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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