why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
