i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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