oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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