I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
