Is it because I queefed?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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