I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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