Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
