Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
