can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
