I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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