i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He shit in the fireplace
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize