bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
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Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
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And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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