everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I fill condoms, not promises.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
