sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
